Tomorrow will be a holiday, and I feel for the first time incredibly lonely and very sad and even scared. By the way, I felt this way a few years ago at the DMV when I failed my test seven times. I called a girlfriend of mine, and after I sensed how busy she was, I decided to leave my home immediately and be among people. While driving without a specific destination, I realized that I needed to see and talk to only one person. Still, since he was unavailable, I decided to visit my son instead of looking for him. The graveyard was almost empty at 3:30 PM, so I placed the flowers, spoke briefly with Philip, and then returned home. I felt much better, and I hope never to feel this way again. I will light a candle and will pray for Fanny and Guillermo instead of crying over my lost love. It was precisely what happened when I was alone for so long. 8/31/2025

From Zak to Mom I was going to write you a letter, but you Know what, Mom, I will write you a poem instead. As I sit next to this river, I feel proud to be your son. As I set foot in this foreign land, my fear fades as I am reminded of the courage you have given me. As I fear the act of approaching new people I am reminded of the confidence you taught me. As I see how fragile most families are I feel lucky to have such a strong one You are my hero, the person I want to be like The light that has shown in my darkest hour, But most of all, that you are my mother.

What can I say? Zak is my bright and ambitious grandson He went to Japan by himself and accomplished one of his dreams at the age of nineteen. He spent some quality time in Tokyo and learned more about that country and the life of his childhood friend, whom he visited there. That's how he discovered that the poem allowed people to express their feelings better than with letters.

AM I FORBIDDEN TO LOVE YOU I could see now that back then, you were blessed in a way to be in love, or, more likely, somehow your curiosity was provoked by my directness. With all those thoughts, with trust, I let you into my heart, where our Long-suppressed wishes came out without shame. "Take me to eternity with you! Only there, we could prolong our upcoming irreplaceable moments." was my first strange offer, and I sensed your mistrusted thoughts. "How do you know what will follow? What would happen if I made some unthinkable promise, like we do in front of the icon or altar sometimes?" But I guess it was the same voice, who answered you instead of me:”Don’t worry! You only must remember that even the most exciting beginnings have an end.” I ignored God's warning too, and jumped fearlessly into unknown with you, my love, while jokingly confessing: "Well, I did that already three times without going to any altars!" "What would you expect from me right now? Maybe, lessons in devotion or you are curious about the unlawful life itself I passed?” You surprised me with your fast response, or I did hear what I wanted to happen: "Show me what love mean to you then!" "Let’s set aside if any worries, so I could give you chance to prove to yourself what insatiable lover you could be, but only with me!" After you won me over, we kissed goodbye, and I was overwhelmed by mixed feelings when you disappeared into the frosty morning. But I felt how painlessly you replaced my loneliness with your dedication and love.